LOSS
By Moira Read
                            

You can loose an earing
You can loose in love
You can loose your self respect
But nothing is the same as loosing your mum


You can wear a smile
You can wear make-up
You can wear the latest fashion
But try wearing grief everyday


You can replace broken glass
You can replace broken teeth
You can replace smashed up cars
But nothing replaces the emptiness inside


You can damage your health
You can damage your self-esteem
You can damage relationships
But nothing damages you more than sad memories


You can build a new life
You can build a new home
You can build a new world
But how can you build that special bond between
a mother & a daughter?


You can take out a warrenty on your greasy oven
You can take out a warrenty on your precious jewels
You can take out a warrenty on your precious existence
But you can't get "new for old" on your mums life


You can believe in fairies
You can believe in words
You can belive in flowers
But you can't believe in the ordinary anymore



You can use her love
You can use her strength
You can use her pride
But you've lost your best friend forever



You can freeze events in time
You can turn your heart to stone
You can freeze your thoughts to 23yrs ago
But you can't freeze moments to share


You can learn to cope
You can learn to hurt
You can learn to heal
But you carn't learn to forget the pain


You can go to a different place
You can go to a different job
You can go to a different town
But you can't change the past


You can change your thoughts
You can change your friends
You can change your attitude
But you can't change where you are from



You can feel homesick
You can feel confused
You can feel needy
But I actually feel you


You can give love to your family & friends
You can give love to yourself
But I still can't actually love you


I can talk about the weather
I can talk about the people
I can talk about my troubles
But I still can't actually talk to you


I can name a star after you for people to see
I can name a rose after you for people to smell
I can name a bench after you for people to rest on
But I still can't say your name & hear a reply


I can look at photos
I can look just like you
I can look back to my childhood
But I still can't actually see you



I can imagine that you are safe
I can imagine that you are happy
I can imagine that you are comfortable
But I can't imagine me ever letting you go


I can write words to explain
I can write words to remember
I can write words to understand
But I can't send my letters to heaven


I can ask my God to care for you
I can ask my God to help me too
I can ask my God to fill the gap between us
But I can't ask him to bring you back


I can hope I have made you proud
I can hope I have been the best I can
I can hope that will chat again
But I can't stop myself hoping that one day
I will be more at peace with living without you by my side



I can say thank you for being so brave
I can say thank you for being so loving
I can say thank you for being the best
But I can't say thank you for leaving too soon


Dedicated  to Brenda Dawson White
xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 


I wrote this poem to my Mum after dropping my youngest daughter at school one morning. I sat at the table & the words just flew from my pen. It was almost as if I had written it before in my head over all the years without even knowing?
It felt good to finally express myself using words.
Everything around me stood still. My mind absorbed by words, emotions & feelings.
It was to play this biggest part in my letting go & beginning to find peace with my loss for the very first time.

I would like to tell you about a massively important book I read recently, which has helped me come to terms with lots of the things this poem is about. It has given me the opportunity to heal & not be in so much pain anymore.

The author is a lovely lady named Hope Edelman & her book is called, "Motherless Mothers". I had been searching for a book like this for ages & thankfully came across this gem. 

I am now finding my Peace

Thank you for reading my blog today

Until next time, take care
xx  

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