LOSS

By Moira Read

                            

You can loose an earing

You can loose in love

You can loose your self respect

But nothing is the same as loosing your mum

You can wear a smile

You can wear make-up

You can wear the latest fashion

But try wearing grief everyday

You can replace broken glass

You can replace broken teeth

You can replace smashed up cars

But nothing replaces the emptiness inside

You can damage your health

You can damage your self-esteem

You can damage relationships

But nothing damages you more than sad memories

You can build a new life

You can build a new home

You can build a new world

But how can you build that special bond between

a mother & a daughter?

You can take out a warrenty on your greasy oven

You can take out a warrenty on your precious jewels

You can take out a warrenty on your precious existence

But you can't get "new for old" on your mums life

You can believe in fairies

You can believe in words

You can belive in flowers

But you can't believe in the ordinary anymore

You can use her love

You can use her strength

You can use her pride

But you've lost your best friend forever

You can freeze events in time

You can turn your heart to stone

You can freeze your thoughts to 23yrs ago

But you can't freeze moments to share

You can learn to cope

You can learn to hurt

You can learn to heal

But you carn't learn to forget the pain

You can go to a different place

You can go to a different job

You can go to a different town

But you can't change the past

You can change your thoughts

You can change your friends

You can change your attitude

But you can't change where you are from

You can feel homesick

You can feel confused

You can feel needy

But I actually feel you

You can give love to your family & friends

You can give love to yourself

But I still can't actually love you

I can talk about the weather

I can talk about the people

I can talk about my troubles

But I still can't actually talk to you

I can name a star after you for people to see

I can name a rose after you for people to smell

I can name a bench after you for people to rest on

But I still can't say your name & hear a reply

I can look at photos

I can look just like you

I can look back to my childhood

But I still can't actually see you

I can imagine that you are safe

I can imagine that you are happy

I can imagine that you are comfortable

But I can't imagine me ever letting you go

I can write words to explain

I can write words to remember

I can write words to understand

But I can't send my letters to heaven

I can ask my God to care for you

I can ask my God to help me too

I can ask my God to fill the gap between us

But I can't ask him to bring you back

I can hope I have made you proud

I can hope I have been the best I can

I can hope that will chat again

But I can't stop myself hoping that one day

I will be more at peace with living without you by my side

I can say thank you for being so brave

I can say thank you for being so loving

I can say thank you for being the best

But I can't say thank you for leaving too soon

Dedicated  to Brenda Dawson White

xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx xx 

I wrote this poem to my Mum after dropping my youngest daughter at school one morning. I sat at the table & the words just flew from my pen. It was almost as if I had written it before in my head over all the years without even knowing?

It felt good to finally express myself using words.

Everything around me stood still. My mind absorbed by words, emotions & feelings.

It was to play this biggest part in my letting go & beginning to find peace with my loss for the very first time.

I would like to tell you about a massively important book I read recently, which has helped me come to terms with lots of the things this poem is about. It has given me the opportunity to heal & not be in so much pain anymore.

The author is a lovely lady named Hope Edelman & her book is called, "Motherless Mothers". I had been searching for a book like this for ages & thankfully came across this gem. 

I am now finding my Peace

Thank you for reading my blog today

Until next time, take care

xx